I like to think of Father’s Day as an extra special time to honour the divine masculine in our lives, this can take any number of forms. The masculine can be your father, grandfather, a female, a role model or someone you look to for support or inspiration that represents the masculine force in your life, and within yourself. The divine masculine is the counterpart to the divine feminine, without one you cannot have the other. This energy is extrovert, logic, forward moving, spiritual strength, protective and learning in nature, but the masculine and feminine complement each other and bring out the best in one another. This is why it is important to honour both, but particularly the masculine at this time – peak summertime.
Some say Father’s day was created in Virginia, USA, in 1908. However, Father’s Day is not necessarily such a recent construct. Sometimes called the Great Sky-Father’s Day, it is associated with the Pagan ritual Litha, dedicated to the Celtic god, Lugh. This day, also known as the celebration of the “Holly King,” is associated with solar veneration in many cultures. Like many Pagan rituals, it was adopted by the Roman Catholic church and is now referred to as St. John’s Day. Always falling on a Sunday, the day of the sun, just before summer solstice in the UK. This year it falls on June the 17thsmack in the middle of the new moon and summer solstice. POW! Most ancient, agricultural civilizations have celebrated the summer solstice with merrymaking and worship of the sun, often with parties and bonfires. Sunwheels were set alight and rolled down a hill into a river; the belief being that if the fire went out before the wheel landed in the river, a good harvest would follow. These Pagan rituals celebrated the power of the sun god and the ability to overcome the darkness. So why is Father’s Day this time of year? Perhaps to utilize the masculine energy mentioned above as we start to creep back towards winter and begin to consider how we will get through the darkness.
It’s a wonderful thing if you have a strong relationship with the masculine force in your life and you are able to celebrate daddy’s day together. Really express how you feel in a creative form, writing or artwork or whatever feels the most authentic for you. Relish this opportunity to forge a strong and honest bond with the masculine forces in your life and forgive any ancestral, negative patriarchal influences that came before.
I am definitely not advocating patriarchy; in much the same way I would not advocate matriarchy. The way of the middle is where we find balance. Honour, respect, compassion and equality are what really make the world go around. Masculinity is not the same as patriarchy. Masculinity is an essential part of our energy; within and outside of us, collectively and individually. Keeping your energy in balance keeps your life in balance.
It’s popular in the current political climate to ‘bash’ patriarchy, and yes, patriarchy is toxic. It not only affects women negatively, but men too. Further, (some) men are not the only pushers of this form of inequality; (some) women are too. The fault is with the system, within western culture, and we need to work together to bring balance. You can’t fight fire with fire but bringing peace, balance and compassion about in the world will make headway away from the toxicity. It is true that many men who came before us have acted as oppressors – but being angry about it will not change that history.
Father’s Day may be difficult for you for any number of reasons. Whether living or dead, we can still have complicated relationships with our paternal figure. This new moon, 13thof June, is a supermoon in Gemini and there is a strong message regarding parents and the need to cease blaming them for choices we have made in our own lives. Whatever your story is with your dad, now is a good time to honour that connection with him and your masculine ancestral line.
Let go of any energetic clutter between you and the masculine in your life (yes, past and present) and open you heart to a positive way of being; clear out that which no longer serves you. Carrying anger, resentment, sadness even hate is not doing anyone any good. Forgive them for not being who you want them to be and start to see them for who they are and the gifts they have. It’s time for compassion; even if something atrocious and seemingly undeserving of forgiveness has happened to you because of masculine oppression, let that go.
Maybe you will decide that you do not want to have a relationship with this person because you don’t like them, they are not ‘good’ for you etc. and that’s just fine too, but do yourself a favour and don’t carry negativity in your heart. Your life is too precious to expend energy holding onto it. If you hold on to those things that happened in the past, the likelihood is that you still suffer in the now – your precious present is being hindered. It can feel like a prison sentence; it can feel very lonely and tiring keeping yourself safe all the time ‘just in case’ something bad happens again. It’s totally ok if you’ve been feeling like this and this has been your way of coping. All behavior has a positive intention, but that software soon becomes outdated and becomes a hindrance. Now is a great time to shed a layer of paternal based protection and make room for the things you love; the planets are aligned to help you do this.
Try to hold it in your heart that none of us is perfect and look for the lesson in your experience. I appreciate that it can seem impossible to let some things go, but know that you deserve your freedom from past hurt. It is not ok that someone hurt you but it is much worse if you keep on hurting yourself.
SOME THINGS YOU CAN DO
Cacao is a wonderful plant medicine for opening the heart. Drink, invite her in to clear any blocks to forgiveness and set yourself free.
You can write a text, letter or email to your masculine relatives or ancestors – even if you have no intention of sending it. Get it all out onto a page, print it if necessary, and burn it.
Talk – clear your throat chakra and speak your truth. Tell them how you feel and offload.
If there is some stuff that is really tough to get through it might be worth seeing a therapist to work through any deeply rooted issues.
However you spend this Father’s Day, embrace the potent masculine energy in and around you. Trust yourself to honour and respect those forces, bringing balance and harmony into your life with gratitude. This is a wonderful time of year for feasts and festivities; express yourself and enjoy!